When I was at DoorDash, Tony Xu regularly taught a key lesson that was counterintuitive: Do things that don’t scale.

Want to know what challenges restaurants are facing? Pick up the phone and call a hundred of them.

Want to know why NPS has slipped in Omaha? Well, start reaching out to customers in Nebraska.

Too often we seek to optimize when in reality we don’t even know what we’re optimizing for. This has obvious application to building startups, but it’s even truer in our relationships. 

It’s taken me too long to learn that I can’t *scale* my relationship with my kids. Going to dance concerts, attending baseball games, and reading books takes time. Last night, we sat at the dinner table for hours playing card games, laughing, arguing, and making memories.

Whether you’re growing a startup or growing a child, you can’t optimize everything.

Do things that don’t scale.