Career Q&A with Luke Mocke, Co-Founder and CEO at Mentorli (#12)

The next Career Q&A is with Luke Mocke. Luke offers great insight into overcoming setbacks, why your job search is NOT a numbers game, the downside of the LinkedIn cafe (!!), and why he decided to start Mentorli.

Luke Mocke is a South African born entrepreneur. After years in the Bay Area at LinkedIn, he cofounded the #GetHired Summit to combat unemployment during the pandemic, and Mentorli to equal the playing field for underrepresented talent. Prior to his career in talent, Luke was a rugby player, winning 3 national championships with BYU and representing the United States as an All-American. He now lives with his family in Lehi and plays an integral part in the Silicon Slopes startup ecosystem. 

Was there an experience you had before age 21 that shaped who you are? What was it? 

After growing up in South Africa, I played a season of rugby in the US. I was 19 and up until that point hadn’t thought much about my future – certainly didn’t have big dreams or ambitions. Seeing how people lived here and how people from my community had come over and done incredible things opened my eyes to life’s possibilities and my potential. Also happened to meet my wife on that trip – fortunately punched way above my weight category with a strong foreign accent 😉 

How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success? Do you have a “favorite failure” of yours? 

I was lucky to play on a fantastic rugby team in college – we won the national championship for my first three seasons only losing one game. We were on track to do the same in my senior season and ended up losing in a gut wrenching final where Berkeley came from behind to snatch it. I was wrecked for weeks. Although I would still choose to win that game, I’m grateful for the humble pie I was dished. It helped me roll with the punches and step into my role at LinkedIn post-graduation with more meekness. I had a growth mindset that I wouldn’t have had otherwise. 

What’s a book that has influenced your career or life, and why? 

David & Goliath by Malcolm Gladwell. I was fascinated by his perspective of weakness and success.

What advice would you give to a smart, driven college student about to enter the “real world”? What advice should they ignore? 

Anyone telling you your job search is a numbers game doesn’t know what they’re talking about. Run for the hills when you hear this – then decide what’s most important to you and look at opportunities with that lens. Go deep. 

If you could go back in time to when you were entering the workforce and give yourself one piece of advice, what would it be? 

Don’t eat so much at the LinkedIn lunch buffet. 

Since entering the workforce, how have you changed or transformed? 

It was all about me at the beginning. I’ve realized that I’m most happy serving others so I’ve shifted my efforts to helping as many people as I can. It’s far more fulfilling and I believe this mindset breeds success too. If I’m not financially successful in the end, well hey – I’ve been able to help tons of people and that feels great! 

So what is Mentorli?

If you want to land a job at Google, Facebook, LinkedIn, or at a fast growing startup like Podium, Lucid, or Doordash, you NEED someone on the inside to refer you to open positions and champion you to hiring managers. Mentorli connects top diverse talent to employees that mentor, refer, and champion throughout the process. Backed by RevRoad and BUILD Impact Fund, Mentorli is pioneering the most effective methods to create an equal playing field in recruiting. 

Why did you decide to start a company?

From my great grandfather building a farm literally from nothing, to both my parents owning their own small businesses at various times while I was growing up – creating is just a part of me. It’s in my blood. A better question is why did I start THIS company. I started Mentorli because I care deeply about helping others improve their career. New worlds have been opened to me by way of my mentors so, knowing what I know now, I want to use my experience to level the playing field for folks looking for their next play. 

What habit or practice helps you manage stress? 

Stress never affected me negatively until I started a company. Then it came like a wave could never have expected. Planning nightly for the following day has helped me feel less overwhelmed about the day and being outside every day has been a game-changer. That seems crazy to say but I went through stages where I wouldn’t leave the house because I was working so much. Now, as a rule, I exercise every morning or take a walk outside every day – helps a ton! 

For more Career Q&As, click here, or you can check out my monthly newsletter and podcast.

Career Q&A with Tami Forman, Chief Executive at Path Forward (#11)

The next Career Q&A is with Tami Forman. Tami offers great insight into the power of setting low expectations (yes, you read that right), how our obsession with “passion” can lead us astray, and how having a child helped give her confidence in her career.

Tami M. Forman is the chief executive of Path Forward, a nonprofit organization that creates mid-career internship programs to ease the transition back to work for women (and men) after taking a break for raising children or other caregiving responsibilities. Before founding Path Forward, Tami spent a decade as a tech marketing executive with data solutions provider, Return Path. Before that she worked in book publishing at Simon & Schuster and Houghton Mifflin and held senior-level web editorial positions at iVillage and News Corporation. She is a frequent speaker on issues related to women’s participation in the workforce, writes a career column for Forbes, and was named by Flexjobs as one of the top 20 career experts for working moms. Tami lives in New York City with her husband and two kids, aged 10 and 12. 

What’s a book that has influenced your career or life, and why? 

I am a big fan of Laura Vanderkam, especially her book on working women titled I Know How She Does It. She offers different ways to think about our relationship to time which, especially in a knowledge job, is really helpful for breaking out of old habits around work and life. I don’t believe women or men should have to choose between a fulfilling career and a life. Vanderkam’s work offers frameworks that help you figure out how to make that idea a reality. 

Was there an experience you had before age 21 that shaped who you are? What was it? 

My parents are not college graduates so, for me, college was a very disorienting experience. It was very apparent to me that many of the kids around me had access to a set of unwritten rules and practices that I had to figure out. And that carried over when I entered the corporate world. Because my parents didn’t have professional jobs I am not a native to the folkways of corporate culture. Much like an immigrant to a new land I’ve had to learn the customs and language without the benefit of having grown up in it. I think it’s made me resilient and given me the confidence to take a leap into the unknown—I know I can figure things out.

How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success? Do you have a “favorite failure” of yours? 

I started out my career in media—book publishing and then digital media—and I didn’t do great in that field. Part of it was loving books and writing is not enough to carry you through a career. But also, it was a world I just didn’t fit into. Part of it was being a corporate “immigrant”—I didn’t understand how the white-collar world worked in general. But media, specifically, is an industry where a lot of emphasis is placed on where you went to school, what neighborhood you live in, and what connections you have. Some people are able to overcome that and find a way to fit in—or find a way to stand out!—but I couldn’t really do either of those. Took me awhile to figure out that it just wasn’t the right fit. 

What advice would you give to a smart, driven college student about to enter the “real world”? What advice should they ignore? 

I would say, “Just start somewhere.” So many of us starting out want to pick the “right” job to lead to the “right” career but there’s no way to really know if you are good at something or will like it unless you start doing it. Take a job that seems aligned with your interests and then go from there. I generally tell people to ignore the advice to “Find your passion.” If you really have a passion you will know it and you really won’t even have a choice but to follow it. But most of us have a lot of different interests and could fit well in any number of careers. Our obsession with “passion” can lead people down dead end roads. 

What are the bad recommendations you hear in your profession or area of expertise?

Along the same lines as “find your passion,” I really hate when people say “Do what you love and the money will follow” and “Love what you do and you will never work a day in your life.” First, there are lots of things people love doing that simply do not pay well. Second, I love my job and there are days that are hard and awful. Work is still … work. Expecting to love every minute, and get paid handsomely for loving that super gratifying, totally fulfilling work, is just setting people up for massive disappointment.

I believe in keeping relatively low expectations. You can have big goals and still not have such ridiculous expectations that you are almost guaranteed to be disappointed. By the way, this is also where I think my upbringing helps me out. I have already far exceeded all expectations I could have imagined for my life—at this point everything is really gravy. 

If you could go back in time to when you were entering the workforce and give yourself one piece of advice, what would it be? 

“Your first job won’t be your last job.” I knew that, of course. In 1993 there was no longer an expectation that you’d spend your whole career at one company. But I still think I was too worried about making a bad choice. I wish I’d embraced the idea of exploring different jobs earlier in my career. The idea of design thinking—trying something, figuring out what is working and what is not and then tweaking—is something I came to later. But if I’m being kind to my younger self I have to admit that it’s easier to feel comfortable with the idea of experimenting when you have had some success and seen things work out!

What’s one of your proudest professional accomplishments? 

I’m really proud of starting Path Forward from scratch. We’ve now worked with 70 companies, including large employers like Walmart, SAP and HPE, we’ve seen more than 400 people employed through our returnship program and we’ve truly established ourselves as experts in our part of the workforce development space. And everything I’ve done in the last 4.5 years is something I had never done before which makes these accomplishments feel even more incredible.

I think part of the courage to do that came from having to figure out a lot in college and my early career. But the final push that convinced me that I could really do anything I wanted to do was having children. Babies are the ultimate start-up experience. The hospital sends you home with one and says “Good luck!” And as soon as you start to get good at your job, it changes. More moms should start businesses. We are experts at figuring things out and learning on the job.  

What’s something unexpected that has happened in your career, and how have you responded? 

I never expected to start and run a nonprofit! I was working in corporate communications at a private software company when the HR department decided to start a returnship program to bring former stay-at-home mothers back into the workforce. I thought it was a great idea and as the head of PR I also felt it was a great story! We got an article in the San Francisco Chronicle. That led to other companies becoming interested in what we were doing and looking for support and consulting.

Eventually our CEO, Matt Blumberg, felt like the program could have a big impact as a nonprofit to work with employers to create more of these programs. When he told me his idea it was as if a light bulb went off over my head—I thought “I have to be a part of this.” I’d never thought about becoming an entrepreneur. But the cause felt so important to me. And I like the challenge of doing things I’ve never done before. 

Since entering the workforce, how have you changed or transformed? 

There is a scene in the third season of The Crown where the Queen is lamenting the new image of her as an older woman and someone refers to her as “the settled sovereign.” I found that to be such a compelling phrase, noting the complete lack of humility I may be showing by comparing myself to the Queen of England! But that phrase is a good way to explain how I feel now—I feel settled. I know what I know, I know what I don’t know and can figure out how to learn it. I also know what I’m good at and feel far more comfortable not trying to be “perfect.” I don’t feel the need to “appear” confident—I am confident. I feel like I have a firm foundation on which to build the next phase of my career—which feels very exciting. I know I can make mistakes and recover from them. I don’t feel as focused on what I might lose so I can stay more focused on what my team and I can win. 

When have you felt stuck in your career? How did you break out of it or push forward?

I definitely felt stuck when I was in media. I’d love to tell some great story about having a grand epiphany, quitting media in a dramatic fashion after having landed a great new job and riding off into the sunset. In fact, I got laid off. It was the beginning of 2003, the economy was still rocky after the dot-com bust and I lost my job at News Corporation. I spent six months looking for a job—any job—in media. But it was a rough time and I actually ended up losing out on three jobs to people I knew! It felt like the walls were closing in. I then landed at Return Path—a small software company where I ultimately became the VP of Corporate Communications. The rest is history! Sometimes the universe really does need to give you a shove. 

Who is one person, dead or alive, who you admire? Why do you admire them? 

Julia Child. I’ve read her biography and also the autobiography that she started and was finished by her nephew. Interestingly the biography is much more hagiographic. But I have a few reasons I love her. First, she is a late bloomer. She didn’t even take her first cooking class until she was 38 years old! She was in her 50s when she became the star we all came to know and love. When I was struggling in my early career I kept reminding myself that not everyone is a wunderkind. Second, she was an unapologetically ambitious woman. That really comes through in her autobiography—she was very driven and she wasn’t always nice about it! I admire that—we don’t expect men to be “nice” on the road to success. In the waning days of my media career I was working as a food editor and I got to talk to her on the phone. It was late in her life and she wasn’t well but it was such a thrill to talk to her! And she was quite humble. She said she “got lucky,” in her career, which, while true, is clearly not the whole story. 

What habit or practice helps you manage stress? 

I get up early every morning and go on a 3-mile walk. It gets me moving, clears my head and gives me an instant feeling of accomplishment. I also have dinner every night with my family. This is much easier now that we are in quarantine, but even when I commuted I prioritized getting home for dinner. Sitting around the table and reconnecting over a shared meal recharges me. 

For more Career Q&As, click here, or you can check out my monthly newsletter and podcast.

How Lifelong Learning Will Give You a Competitive Edge (Episode 10)

The days of going to school, getting a degree, and being done with your learning at graduation are long gone. If you’re banking on what you learned in high school or college to carry you throughout your career, you’re in for a rude awakening.

The workplace is more dynamic than ever and new technology is accelerating that change. To thrive in today’s world of work we must constantly learn and constantly grow. 

So, what do we do? In this episode, I share three concrete ways you can make learning a competitive advantage in your career. I also share the future of The Not Your Parents’ Workplace Show including why I’m going to hit pause on YouTube and why I’m doubling down on the podcast. 

Alexander Hamilton and the Art of Discretion (Episode 11)

For the podcast version of this article, visit Apple, Google, or Spotify Podcasts

I first read Ron Chernow’s biography of Alexander Hamilton in 2014, having previously studied the lives of his contemporaries, specifically, George Washington, John Adams, and Thomas Jefferson. I had a glimpse into his life and how many historians remembered him, but Chernow’s account totally opened my eyes.

This man was far more than the first treasury secretary of the United States. His accomplishments include:

  • Supporting Washington as his chief staff aide during the American Revolution and commanding three battalions during the decisive battle of Yorktown
  • Architecting the Federalist Papers which played a pivotal role in defending and ratifying the U.S. Constitution (he wrote 51 of the 85 essays)
  • Founding a national bank and building the financial system that established the country’s credit
  • Creating the U.S. Coast Guard and the New York Post

Born in Nevis, a small island in the Caribbean, Hamilton’s father left him when he was a boy. Not long after, his mother died of yellow fever and his cousin, who was entrusted to watch over him, committed suicide. Without a doubt, of all the founding fathers, Hamilton’s rise to power is by far the most improbable.

Over the years my admiration for him only grew as I watched Lin Manuel Miranda’s musical and studied more of his life. A few months back, I decided to tackle his biography once more. The biggest lesson from reading this book, at least as it came to a close, is that of discretion.

Hamilton was a genius. Full stop. Yet, despite being a genius, or maybe because of it, he didn’t know when to keep silent. He spoke his mind at all times and this came back to hurt him on countless occasions.

In a letter to his son, sent days before his fatal duel with Aaron Burr, Hamilton wrote that he had “prepared for you a thesis on discretion. You may need it.” Here’s a portion of the letter.

“A prudent silence will frequently be taken for wisdom and a sentence or two cautiously thrown in will sometimes gain the palm of knowledge, while a man well informed but indescreet and unreserved will not uncommonly talk himself out of all consideration and weight.”

To quote Chernow, “This…sounds like the confessions of a man who had never learned to be discreet himself.” It’s been said that all advice is autobiographical, and Hamilton must have been talking to himself in a way, reflecting on times where his indiscretion had harmed him.

The dictionary provides two definitions of discretion:

  • The quality of behaving or speaking in such a way as to avoid causing offense or revealing private information
  • The freedom to decide what should be done in a particular situation

One can argue that had Hamilton shown more discretion throughout his life, had he behaved or spoken in a way that avoided causing offense to others, he wouldn’t have left behind such a long list of impressive accomplishments. Possibly, but a few moments of discretion could have spared him the hatred of many, and likely would have saved his life.

And what of Aaron Burr, the man who shot and killed Hamilton in their infamous duel? Burr was the antithesis of Hamilton. He rarely revealed how he felt on a given topic. He had the well-earned reputation of doing whatever was politically expedient. Burr was hard to read and many struggled to know where he stood.

Yet, as odd as it sounds, Burr ultimately paid a price for having too much discretion. Years of concealing how he felt and striving to be all things to all people took a toll. He finally reached the point where he couldn’t hide his true feelings towards Hamilton anymore and he lashed out. He had let his anger and hatred for Hamilton fester until he reached a boiling point and couldn’t hold back any longer.

Despite being the Vice President of the United States, Burr unleashed his rage and challenged Hamilton to a duel. He felt that Hamilton had defamed his character and had sought to destroy his political career. While he had plenty to lose from going after Hamilton, there was no turning back. Burr’s rage had consumed him.

Ironically, it was Hamilton’s death, rather than Hamilton’s verbal assaults, that led to Burr’s political undoing. After the fatal duel, Burr’s career was never the same. Facing potential murder charges, he fled to the South. He later faced treason charges for conspiring to plan the secession of several western states. So, he moved to Europe and didn’t return to New York until after his acquittal. His professional and personal life remained in tatters until his death in 1836.

It’s easy to point out the foibles of leaders who lived 200+ years ago. It’s harder to take those learnings and apply them to our lives to further our own development.

I invite you to consider the role discretion plays in your life. Are you like Hamilton, committed to speaking your mind at all times regardless of the occasion? Or are you more like Burr, constantly concealing your feelings, unwilling to share what you genuinely think until you reach a breaking point?

Much later in his life, reflecting on the duel, Burr remarked, “I should have known the world was wide enough for Hamilton and me.” Had he been willing to confront Hamilton earlier, had he been a little more indiscreet, they likely could have settled their differences peacefully and without violence. Conversely, had Hamilton been a little more discreet, had he effectively discerned when to maintain silence, his life likely wouldn’t have been taken at age 47.

The world certainly was wide enough for Hamilton and Burr.

As we move forward in our careers, I hope the lesson of these two men stay fresh. Discretion truly is an art.

Difficult Conversations: Why They’re Important and How to Have Them (Episode 9)

Too often we avoid having difficult conversations because we tell ourselves it’s just not worth the effort. Nothing will change.

We tell ourselves that our manager or whoever’s involved doesn’t care about us and that there’s no point in speaking up. Often it’s easier, and quite frankly safer, to believe these things rather than to take action.

While no one likes having difficult conversations, when we avoid them, we trade short term discomfort for long term dysfunction.

In this episode, I share why it’s critical to have hard conversations, a framework for guiding these discussions, and three tips that will ensure you’re successful in having them.

As a reminder, The Not Your Parents’ Workplace Show is now available as a podcast. Please consider subscribing and leaving a review on Apple.

This Simple Tool Will Stop Anger From Destroying Your Career (Episode 8)

Anger is something we all feel at times but left unchecked it can cause irreparable damage to important relationships and harm our career. I’ve found that a simple tool—what I call an “unsent angry letter”—can help prevent raw emotion from getting the best of us.

Benjamin Franklin, Abraham Lincoln, and countless others have mastered the art of the unsent angry letter. Doing so allowed them to act deliberately and consciously rather than out of frustration or anger.

In this episode, I share why you need to master the unsent angry letter and how doing so will help you become more effective in all aspects of your life.

As a reminder, the Not Your Parents’ Workplace Show is now available as a podcast.

#20: How To Make Room for Inspiration in Your Career The Not Your Parents' Workplace Show with Nathan Tanner

  1. #20: How To Make Room for Inspiration in Your Career
  2. #19: 4 Lessons From 4 Years at DoorDash
  3. #18: How to Create a Life Worth Living (Interview with Kevin Delaney, VP of L&D at LinkedIn)

Don’t Follow Your Passion! Do This Instead. (Episode 7)

The most popular career advice out there is that you should follow your passion.

“Do what you’re most passionate about!”

“Find a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life!

You hear it all the time. While well-intended, I’ve found this to be the worst career advice that’s out there. In this week’s episode, I’ll explore why you shouldn’t obsess over finding your passion, and discuss three practical things to do instead.

As a reminder, the Not Your Parents’ Workplace Show is now available as a podcast:
– Apple: https://apple.co/2T8URbu
– Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3dPs2so
– Google: https://bit.ly/3bECFwu

5 Ways to Unlock the Power of Mentorship in Your Career (Episode 6)

Mentorship is critical to career growth and the benefits of mentorship include faster promotions, salary growth, and increased job satisfaction.

But finding the right mentor can be challenging and it’s not always clear how to build an effective mentoring relationship.

In Episode 6 of The Not Your Parents’ Workplace Show, I cover why mentorship matters, four ways to attract a mentor, and creative ways to find mentorship.

5 years ago I published Not Your Parents’ Workplace. In the book, I wrote about the challenges I faced in 2008 when I had a front-row seat to the largest bankruptcy in US history. Given today’s economic environment and career challenges, I’m kicking off a YouTube series where I’ll share lessons I wrote about in the book as well as lessons I’ve learned since.

3 Daily Practices to Thrive During COVID-19 (Episode 5)

I don’t know about you, but for much of this COVID period, I’ve been in survival mode, learning on the fly how to cope with this new reality. But recently, I was challenged to look at things from a different perspective.

Rather than merely survive during this period, what if it were possible to truly thrive? What if it were possible in one year to look back and say that we experienced more personal growth and were more productive during this time than any other?

Over the past few weeks, I’ve come to believe that, while difficult, holding a new perspective is possible. In this video, I share 3 daily practices for thriving during COVID-19 and any other challenging period.

For more videos, click here.

How to Develop a Career Competitive Advantage (Episode 4)

In 2012 I read a book that had a profound impact on me and shifted how I think about my career.

That book is The Start-Up of You by Reid Hoffman and Ben Casnocha.  The authors argue that we can develop a competitive advantage by answering questions regarding our assets, our aspirations, and the market realities.

1) Assets: What are you inherently good at? What do you have going for you? These can include soft assets (knowledge, skills, connections) and hard assets (cash, investments).

2) Aspirations: Where do you want to go in the future? What do you want to do? Who do you want to become?

3) Market Realities: What will people actually pay you for? Where is there a market demand?

In my latest video, I dive into these three critical questions, sharing how these questions inspired me to make a career pivot and how they can help you build a career competitive advantage.